What to Order at Panda Express: Every Item, Judged

$4.20 avg · 490 cal

The dish that keeps the lights on, and it earns the spot. Crackly dark-meat chunks in a sweet-tangy glaze that stays crisp longer than any other fried entree on the line. At 490 calories for the small scoop it isn't health food, but it's the one thing you'd actually miss if it disappeared.

$4.20 avg · 490 cal

The white-meat sleeper. Same 490 calories as orange chicken, but a lighter, less candied glaze and real chicken breast instead of thigh nuggets. Order it once and it quietly becomes your default second scoop.

$4.20 avg · 220 cal

Your best move when you don't want to feel the meal three hours later. Sliced chicken, zucchini, and mushrooms in a light soy-garlic sauce at 220 calories, less than half the orange chicken. It can come out under-seasoned on a slow afternoon, so ask for a fresh batch.

$4.20 avg · 290 cal

The rare Panda entree with texture and a little heat. Diced chicken, peanuts, bell pepper, and dried chilies that add a real low burn most of the menu lacks. 290 calories, though the peanuts make it eat heavier than the number reads.

$3.20 avg · 90 cal

The single smartest substitution on the menu. Swap it in for chow mein or fried rice and you cut roughly 400 calories off the plate for the same price. Broccoli, cabbage, and kale, wokked fast enough to keep some bite.

$3.20 avg · 510 cal

Delicious and a genuine trap. The stir-fried noodles are the best-tasting side here, but a scoop is 510 calories, more than the orange chicken sitting next to it. Split it with super greens if you can't talk yourself out of it entirely.

$4.20 avg · 150 cal

At 150 calories it's the leanest entree, which is both the selling point and the catch. Mostly broccoli, a few thin slices of beef, a glossy soy sauce. A fine diet pick. Underwhelming if you actually came for beef.

$4.20 avg · 300 cal

Griddled thigh brushed with teriyaki, 300 calories, and better than it has any right to be straight off the grill. The catch is timing. Left under the heat lamp it turns rubbery fast, so it's great at noon and sad by three.

$1.95 avg · 190 cal

Crunchy wrappers, sweet cream-cheese filling, a fan favorite for good reason. But the small order is three pieces and they deflate into chewy leather within ten minutes of the fryer. Eat them first, while they still crackle.

$5.45 avg · 360 cal

The premium upcharge buys you dessert pretending to be dinner. Battered shrimp in a mayo-based glaze with candied walnuts, cloying by the third bite, and the shrimp themselves are small. You're paying extra for the sweetest thing on the menu.

$4.20 avg · 470 cal

Panda's most divisive entree, and not in a flattering way. The battered beef shows up either soggy or overcooked, buried in a ketchup-sweet sauce that reads closer to candy. 470 calories that belong on a dessert menu. Broccoli beef does beef better for a third of them.

$5.45 avg · 180 cal

The priciest scoop and the one most likely to let you down. You pay the premium surcharge for a smaller portion of steak that's frequently chewy, tossed with onions and celery. When it's fresh it's fine. The odds don't justify the extra.