What to Order at Applebee's: Every Item, Judged

$15.99 avg · varies (unlimited refills) cal

Unlimited riblets, wings, and shrimp with bottomless fries for less than the Riblets Platter costs on its own. Dine-in only and it rotates in and out, so call ahead before you build an evening around it. When it's running, ordering anything else off this menu is a decision you'll have to explain.

$11.99 avg · 860 cal

The one item that survives the reviews unscathed: hot, pulling properly, marinara that does its job. Twelve dollars is steep for fried cheese, which is why the Combo exists.

$17.99 avg · 2,270 cal

Boneless wings, mozzarella sticks, chicken quesadilla, and spinach dip for six dollars more than the mozzarella sticks alone. Ordering two of those apps separately runs $23.48, so the discount is real. It's 2,270 calories, so bring at least one other person and treat it as dinner, not a warm-up.

$12.99 avg · 1,090 cal

The cheapest real entrée here, and the only one that reliably arrives looking like its menu photo — beef patty, brioche, fries included. Nobody writes home about it, and nobody sends it back.

$15.29 avg · 1,320 cal

Same burger, plus two strips of bacon and two slices of American. Building it yourself off the Classic runs $15.49 (bacon $1.50, cheese $1.00), so the bundle saves you twenty cents. Fine burger, meaningless deal.

$16.99 avg · 1,400 cal

The chain's signature, and genuinely good when the batch is right. The problem is structural: riblets are cut from the thin end of the rack, so you're negotiating with bone and gristle no matter how well they're cooked. It also costs a dollar more than the all-you-can-eat deal that includes these same riblets.

$20.99 avg · 820 cal

The most expensive plate on the menu, and the Cajun butter and sizzling onions do real work covering for the beef underneath. If someone drags you here and you must have steak, this is the one — the seasoning is load-bearing. Twenty-one dollars, though.

$18.99 avg · 800 cal

Same skillet treatment as the steak, two dollars cheaper, and chicken doesn't come with a grade to be disappointed by. It arrives sizzling, which papers over a lot. Still nineteen dollars.

$18.69 avg · 620 cal

Applebee's own menu copy calls it USDA Select, the lowest of the three retail grades — below Choice, well below Prime. Reviewers keep using the words tough and gristly, which is what Select does when you grill it plain with no sauce to hide behind. Texas Roadhouse sells a hand-cut Choice sirloin for five dollars less.

$11.49 avg · 990 cal

Eleven-fifty for a cup of dip that shows up scorched around the rim, which is the tell of a microwave finish. The chips draw as many complaints as the dip does — greasy, and not in the way anyone wants. Get the mozzarella sticks instead, or get the Combo and accept this one as a passenger.

$14.99 avg · 1,550 cal

A long-running favorite that is a salad the way a Snickers is trail mix. Fried chicken tenders, fried noodles, a sweet vinaigrette, and a buttered breadstick add up to 1,550 calories — more than the Classic Bacon Cheeseburger with a side of fries. Order it because you want fried chicken. Don't order it because you want a salad.

$15.69 avg · 1,580 cal

A burger patty, bacon, pepper jack, and Mexi-ranch inside a cheddar quesadilla instead of a bun. It's the highest-calorie burger they sell at 1,580, and the recurring complaint is that it comes apart in your hands from the grease before you're halfway in. An idea that should have stayed in the meeting.